You know those insufferably cringey ‘behind the scenes’ features they sometimes do for films and TV shows, where star actors pretend to be best friends with the tea lady whilst engaging in some of the most hilariously embarrassing and forced (ugh) ‘banter’ ever known to the human race? Well, this article is rather like that. Only without the banter. And the actors. And the tea lady. But apart from that, it’s exactly the same. Oh yes. Continue reading
“…morning glory,” as Liam Gallagher once sang about twenty years ago on the Oasis album of the same name. I don’t really have the answer, and if we’re being truthful, I don’t think either Liam or his brother Noel, when he was writing the song, had any idea either. I think, however, I’m safe in saying they weren’t thinking about plots for computer games at that point. More likely they were too busy singing about the “sunshhhhieeennnnee” to be thinking about anything else (yes, I had to get a written Mancunian accent in there somewhere. I promise this won’t ever happen again).
Oh, hello there. Do come in. How are you? Good. Me? I’m fine, thanks. I must admit you’ve caught me off-guard. I wasn’t expecting you this early, but never mind. Shall we make a start, or would you like a drink first? Tea, perhaps? Or coffee? (But there’s one particular brand I don’t have, so be careful with that one.)
Er, anyway. That’s from page 275 of ‘Stalling So You Don’t Have To Bother Writing A Decent Intro, Ever’, a book I have practically learnt off by heart. I’m a bit rubbish at introductions. Introducing myself, introducing other people… and now I’ve discovered I can’t even introduce a fictional blue mouse. A mouse called Maxwell, if you must know. Continue reading